


Palpatine's Pancake House

by ZombieCatTookMyPudding



Series: Deliciously Funny Star Wars Adventures [4]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Humor, Pancakes, Sci-Fi, Waffles
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-28
Updated: 2018-12-29
Packaged: 2019-09-29 08:09:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17199770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZombieCatTookMyPudding/pseuds/ZombieCatTookMyPudding
Summary: (Takes place in-between Prequel and Original trilogies) Palpatine has discovered that the secret to ruling the galaxy is...pancakes? Well, he seems pretty convinced it is. But what happens to his plans when Ben Kenobi opens up a waffle place nearby as a rival?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMER: I do not own _Star Wars_. All rights go to their respective owners.  
> Because I wanted to write a _Star Wars_ fanfic that isn't _Clone Wars_ related.  
> I don't know what happened, though. I could have sworn I uploaded it here and added it to _Deliciously Funny Star Wars Adventures_ , and I didn't get any message of it being taken down. (Unless I'm just completely nuts.)  
> Either way, enjoy!

Darth Vader's epic theme song played as he walked down the hall, breathing heavily as he always did, of course. Bowing before Palpatine's throne, he asked: **"you summoned me, Master?"**

"Yes, Lord Vader, I have." Standing, he continued: "I have figured out the key to ruling the galaxy. One that goes beyond even the powers of the Force. Lord Vader...we...are going to use..."

Darth Vader took one of his deep breaths in anticipation.

"...Pancakes."

Lightning crashed in the window behind them...in space...somehow.

 **"...Pancakes?"** Darth Vader asked, confused. **"Er, forgive me for questioning you, my lord, but how exactly are pancakes going to rule the galaxy?"**

"In good time, Lord Vader. First, I need to know if I can trust you before I tell you the secret about pancakes."

 **"O-of course,"** he said, still trying to process the plan.

"Order the guards to prepare our ship. We leave for Tatooine immediately."

 **"...Yes, Master."** Though a number of years had passed since his last visit, his hate for the desert planet never died. Still, if this really were the key for complete control over the galaxy, then Vader supposed he had no choice but to believe him.


	2. Chapter 2

"This shall be our base of operations," Palpatine said as he walked with Vader through the front arch of their new purchase.

The lighting was nearly non-existent, the countertops and tables were broken and dirty, and Vader sensed that something had brushed across his foot.

 **"It...certainly has potential,"** he said, repressing a shudder. What he was really thinking was how disgusting this place was! He would rather eat in a _garbage pit_ than here! But, of course, he could never say such a thing out loud in front of his master.

"It is what they call a 'fixer-up', Lord Vader. "And we are going to get this place _feast _-worthy!"__

* * *

____

**ONE RENOVATION MONTAGE LATER...**

* * *

By the time the Storm Troopers were done with it, the restaurant they purchased was unrecognizable: the lighting and wiring had been fixed to something legal and safe, the countertops, tables, and any other appliances had been replaced, and all of the pests had been exterminated and removed.

"Excellent! I sense a large wave of customers in our near future!" Palpatine exclaimed as the Storm Troopers worked together to lift the sign overhead:

_Palpatine's Pancake House_

"Turn the lights on!" Palpatine commanded. "I want people to see this sign from miles away!"

* * *

But potential customers weren't the only ones who could see the sign...a hooded man that had been wandering just outside the town had noticed, and felt something in his stomach sink at the sign. It had been a number of years now, but it still seemed like yesterday that Order 66 had been initiated, and the Jedi were almost completely wiped out. And he learned the hard way that Palpatine was the man behind it.

What he was doing, he couldn't be sure, but if this were something to build up the funds for a far more sinister plan, he needed to do something to stop him...and fast.

* * *

**A FEW DAYS LATER...**

* * *

"Sir, where's my coffee?" a woman demanded.

 **"I'm getting right on that,"** Vader grumbled.

"Waiter, I asked for extra syrup half an hour ago!" a male complained.

**"Okay, okay, sheesh."**

"Excuse me, could you tell me where the restrooms are in this establishment?"

 **"I'M ONE PERSON! I CAN ONLY BE IN SO MANY PLACES!"** Tempted as he was to slice these ingrates in half, Palpatine had already given him specific instructions _not_ to use his lightsaber for any reason outside of culinary purposes. Apparently killing random civilians who dare disrespect the second-in-command of the Galactic Empire was "unprofessional."

* * *

**"My lord!"** Vader slammed the kitchen door open. **"I can't take much more of the customers! I thought losing my wife and unborn child was hard, but this is _unbearable!"_**

But Palpatine didn't turn. His attention seemed focused elsewhere.

 **"...Master?"** Approaching behind him to see what it was out the window he was looking at he then understood the reason behind his quiet intensity: a building very similar to their own, only the outer colors and the sign was different:

_Waffle World_

"...And so it begins..." Palpatine growled.


End file.
